May told me it would be easy, because Crystal was HOT for me, in capital letters. Crystal was also used to sleeping with a variety of men, all of whom apparently compared unfavorably to Ralph in their ability to love a woman.- May was sure Crystal would fall on her back if I just smiled at her.- May was sure Crystal would be consumed by my ability to pleasure a woman. It would be something she had never even dreamed possible.- May was sure Crystal's own talents to love were as deficient as Ralph's.- May was sure once Crystal had been given a full course of my loving, she would never be satisfied with Ralph's poor brand again.And because the two were tied inextricably together. It would be years before they could work out of the hole we would put them in.If ever.May assured me she would not be jealous of the time I spent with Crystal in the next six weeks or so. She had no doubt she, May, would be kept more than satisfied herself and didn't believe she could do enough to take care of. I took her at her word because unlikemost boys who dreamed of being girls, I lacked a fashion IQ. I just knewwhat felt good to me.Besides some dresses and suits, my mom gave me an old Coach purse. Itwas made of cream colored leather and was big enough to move in to.Before she gave it to me, she emptied it of its contents and picked andchose what would be returned to it. I got a small compact mirror, a tubeof lipstick, a wallet, and a hair brush in the exchange. She kept thehalf a pack of Virginia Slims cigarettes and the two disposable lightersfor her self.I think I remember so much about that one day because it was one of themost important days in my life for better or worse. I replay it over andover to see if my life would have changed if anything had happeneddifferently that day. I don't think it would have.Nothing extraordinary happened to me in my eighth grade year. Mom keptmy secret and no one else found out. I didn't fall in love and I didn'tgo to jail that year. I.
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